How To Make (and enjoy) Ayahuasca

Perhaps you were wondering about Ayahuasca, the practically mythological psychedelic you heard some rogue zoo keeper discuss on late night AM radio shows. FMPU has never really even been in a discussion with another human about Ayahuasca much less seen any. Growing up in the Valley can be alienating. See, the trouble is that for Ayahuasca to be effective, it requires an analogue and some cooking to produce an effective dose of the powerful potentate. This is a ceremonial experience not for the weak of mind.

Recipe for making and experiencing Ayahuasca

Ingredients: 20g M. hostilis 3g. P. harmala RealLemon(tm) lemon juice

1. Take 2g of ground P. Harmala (no preparation needed) orally.
2. Grind 20g M. hostilis in coffee grinder to a fine, purplish powder.
3. Create mixture of 30-40% RealLemon(tm) and water. Stir in M. Hostilis and bring to a simmer for 15 minutes. Stir frequently.
4. Filter purple liquid through colander or mesh strainer.
5. Add remaining plant matter to a new lemon juice & water mix and stir for another 15 minutes.
6. Take remaining 1g P. harmala.
7. Drain off liquid into cup (should fill it up about halfway) and drink quickly.
8. Wait 15-20 minutes. Retch.
9. Retch some more.
10. Try to regain your composure and balance after dry-heaving.
11. Lie back and listen to some didgeridoo music.
12. Begin to think you're dying, being devoured to the clean-picked bone by a school of rainbow piranhas, submerged in the hell-realms suffering brutal tortures and repeated dismemberment at the teeth and claws of the blood-dripping minions of Lord Yama and various ferocious Mezoamerican deities like Tezcatlipoca simultaneously.
13. Experience a complete and utter ontological meltdown at the face of imminent death. Recognize if the 'huasca kills you now you'll be caught in one of the hell-bardos for a minor eternity due to your accumulated bad karma. Keep repeating your name to remind yourself that you have a body. Shower repeatedly to wash away the overwhelming forces of evil fighting over your soul ã in between rounds of projectile diarrhea. Marvel at just how full of shit you are.
14. Panic, but try to remind yourself that time is your ally, even though each moment seems like an eternity of suffering. Remember that"this too shall pass." Believe this with the greatest skepticism.
15. Continue this way for several hours, wondering all along if you'll actually be able to come out of the hell-worlds intact.
16. Wake up the following morning, swearing off psychedelics for at least a very long while, still fearful of inadvertently re-invoking this terrifying state of consciousness.
17. Go to bed the following night and reexperience this realm of consciousness during the hypnagogic state and nearly die of fright that you'll wind up in an ontological cul-de-sac someplace, dribbling down your chin until your time is up.
18. Eat LOTS of red meat, drink alcohol, lots of Tamasic foods. Try to get grounded. The quotidian banality of three dimensions can be a sane human's best friend.
19. Finally, several weeks later, look back on the experience without feeling a lingering sense of terror.
20. Begin to regain some perspective. Consider trying 'la purga' again under the supervision of a very experienced shaman able to help those less experienced to finally conquer these treacherous realms (as must ultimately be done). One must go into the breach again to be fully cured.
21. Maintain a VERY HEALTHY respect for the Vine of the Soul, recognizing that it can kill, regardless of what they say about tryptamine neurotoxicity. The tryptamines won't kill you; the heart-stoppage from unmitigated terror can, though.

Have fun out there!